Sentimental Explorer T-Shirts

"The kids are growing up so fast."

'Why would you want to open up your sealed adoption records? Don't you love us?'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Postwar is hell."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Relationship Warning Lights

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Home depot."

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"I scream! You scream! I can't stop the screaming!"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

Large Emoticon Collider

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Comedy and tragedy masks

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

The Map of the Human Heart

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"There's something I have to tell you."