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Seminars for Sycophants

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

I do want you to have a role in the group,but I wasn't thinking of 'the bloke who sits at the back eating biscuits and having a bit of a nap'.

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

'Yes, that person there...'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

"Please refrain from throwing business cards."

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

Tonight's topic Ethical behavior. Personally, I let my conscience by my guide, but I do the driving!

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

'All right, all right, Hershman, you can go attend the 'improve your negotiating skills' seminar.'

"Maybe there's a free lunch, too?"

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

"He just returned from a motivational seminar."

Today's seminar is going to be so much fun...

The Self Esteem Seminar had really helped him.

'I hope this is not a reflection on the staff, but the management has asked me to dumb it down.'

I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. we forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we'd hoped to use died in 1958

"A workshop will be offered on the topic of decision-making....I could possibly take part....o the other hand...."

'Nobody turned up to the 'effective communications' seminar...they didn't get our memo.'

'Since we initiated regular staff development sessions, we've turned the school around 360 degrees.'

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."