Self-perception Ponderer T-Shirts

"You look skinner in your selfie."

Nice toupee, Dr. Kapuchnik. But … is it honest? At least a toupee is honest about its dishonesty, Al. Compared to what? A beret.

'My god... I AM one of those foofy little dogs!'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Needs to get a life"

Sauce for the Goose

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Nice haircut."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

Le Penseur (D' Apres Rodin)