Self-growth Seeker Pillows

'You're just an old person who hasn't blossomed yet...'

'Well, he's progressed from an imaginary friend to an imaginary mentor.'

Age 15 vs Age 35

"Your father just called. He wanted me to remind you that you're still a bitter disappointment."

They hated me.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

Critisize your weight.

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

Soaring Profits

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

"You've changed."

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

Planned service changes

"Wings will be cool, I guess, but I'm mostly hoping the braces and pimples fall off."

Roger feels that there are only two inante instincts in men and women. One is satisfaction of biological needs...the other is self-actualization.

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

"Doc, you'll be glad to know I'm comfortable in my own skin today. I shed my old in the reception room."

"How long have I had what problem?"

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'I'm trying to get my competence and my confidence in the same place.'