Self-conscious Sage Mugs

That party went well.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Sigmund Freud.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

How to believe in yourself.

Honey badger do care.

"Either the crystal ball's had it or you have."

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

"Oh-oh - I think I just lost my enlightenment momentum!"

Tact is seeing others how they wish to be seen.

'Hate, charity, faith, patience...to thine own self be true...' 'Leave this man alone you're driving him mad.'

'I have nothing to declare but my genius!'

Books: New - Do It Yourself...Let the Government Do It.

'He has an inferiority complex.'

I only know the meaning of life -- Old Goopta over there knows what women want.

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

'No kidding? -- I was at Woodstock, too!'

A woman surrounded by drama masks admires herself in the mirror.

'Still ugly? Then come in and get p****d'

"No kidding… the meaning of life is Twizzlers?!"

'Now that's a face only a mother could love.'

'...and sometimes, doctor, I feel I'm going completely crazy...'