Seeking A Publisher Pillows

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

First Novels.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Meet the author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Gay Times...

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Sue the Author 3PM

Letters escape from a caged book.

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."