Seeking A Business Loan Mugs

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I'm a good risk for a business loan because I put 110% effort into my business."

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

"Well, Mr. Shoddy, if we were to approve your business loan, you'd really need to change the name of your company."

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"Your entire business plan is to get a loan from me?"

loan

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

I have a dream.

Frank and Ernest Venture Capital. We need seed money.

Farmer's credit.

"How much do you need?"

"Yes, we've refused your loan application."

'A loan, certainly, how much would you like?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

I'm buying last year's car today with next year's money.

"We've got borrower's remorse."

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'How much do you want?' - 'How much have you got?'

'I don't want your wallet. I want venture capital.'

"Do you have any other form of collateral?"

"According to my actuary tables, your loan will outlive you."