Security Subverter T-Shirts

'I see you opened it yourself, but there'll still be a service charge.'

The Anti-Agent

UK border controls relaxed.

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

High security Santa's grotto

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

No Soliciting

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"He's a guard dog."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

The Scanner Of Love.

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Moulin Rouge Security

A Little Extra

Death to the Extremists

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Beware of Don"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

The Best Defense

Mou...Man trap!