Second-career Explorers Pillows

"Retirement will be a pipe dream for many of us...we need to explore new careers for later life."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

Giraffe Selfie

The Desert Island Package

Fossil hunting

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

"I'm going to make you a stay-at-home mom."

"This is it? No video?"

Pubertry

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

"Yes, but is 'Bigfoot enthusiast' an actual job?"

"Exscuse me, but I think I'm in the wrong shaped hole."

"You've been working out of your parent's basement since 1993?"

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

"In 200 cubits, right-turn, then stay on the current road..."

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

Headphone swing

I can be upgraded, can you?

'In denial and loving it!'

Girl asking her little cousin what he would like for his birthday

"Singing cowboy AND notary public"

"I'm just curious why you included a section in your resume that says 'The lost years...'"

"In five years I see myself sitting on the shoulder of a successful pirate captain."

"An amusing story no doubt Captain, but let me tell you about my experiences with the head hunters of the Amazon!"