Script Aficionados Prints

Actor practising his indian war crys

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

A pretention of playwrights

Hollywood producer.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Hollywood producer.

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"Great money scenes!"

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

Scrip Doctor

Woody Allen

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

Subtitles for the Stupid

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

Write a Screenplay

Writer's Strike

'We're calling it... 'World war zit!''

Hollywood on Strike

Audition. Script. He plays every role with that scowl --- His motto is "Anything you can do, I can do bitter."

Globe. Which line do you prefer? "What's past is prologue" or "today is the first day of the rest of your life"?

'I'm writing a screenplay that every studio in Hollywood will want to produce. It's about an honest, hard-working, moral CEO.'

"Oh, pardon me. That's not the menu , that's my screenplay."