Scorecard Philosopher Pillows

I never realized what a bad golfer I was until somebody else kept score. Club House.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Philosopher trading cards.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Kids playing with the cardboard box instead of the expensive toys.

Pessimists v Optimists.

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Golf Score Reducer

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

"You have a good lie."

God playing with dolls.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

"I can't believe it...a 'B' average on my report card? I'm not that smart! The theories of probability predict it's likely that the school's data system somehow encountered a catastrophic breakdown."

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

'Violence solves everything...'

The Thinking Man's Rugby

"Just fetch, don't ask why."

'I will need to watch the replay.'

...'So I said forget about the wages, I just want to play football.'

"Pawn to King Four."

"Sorry, I don't know what a handball is anymore either."