Scientific Rivalry Enthusiast T-Shirts

'We geochemists did very well before there were geophysicists.'

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

Sexual chemistry set

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

Tic-tac-toe

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

"Stop complaining. At least I have parents!"

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Bio Lab. You spliced phoenix DNA into a lemming? What are you trying to make? A perpetual motion machine!

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"…And just what do you think you're going to do with your silly death ray once you've finished it?!"

It's an experiment.

'Catch this!'

"Just being proactive."

Uncle Mort, have you been playing with your home genetic engineering kit again? Guilty. I was trying to clone my own DNA. For laughs, I mixed up my genes with compost. Mixed up? Technically, cross-bred. Trump is a meathead! Well, you're a vegetable.

The Bride of Finkelstein!

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

Frankenstein egg.

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

Frankenfish

'Max really likes those genetic markers.'