Schoolyard Reporter Pillows

Careful

"Recess does things to a man."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

I rule by fear.

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

Teacher's Lounge

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

Rosewood Elementary E. Osgood Principal. I know you'll tell my parents about this, but I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell Santa.

'I got lost in between all the classroom trailers at school again.'

I know you are, but what am I? Huh? Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. I'm ready for the return of school. My mom says you're just jealous.

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

"Yes, the underpants sighting is very interesting, but I'm really more intrigued by your observations of London and France."

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

"My day in school? Oh, it was special. I got a lot of attention and advice from the principal herself."

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'

'That Jimmy is sickening!'

Juvenile Court

"Talk about a bad day. It was take your child to work day and my Dad's the school principal."