Schoolyard Reporter Pillows

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"Recess does things to a man."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

I rule by fear.

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

Teacher's Lounge

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

'I got lost in between all the classroom trailers at school again.'

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

"My day in school? Oh, it was special. I got a lot of attention and advice from the principal herself."

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'

'That Jimmy is sickening!'

"Yes, the underpants sighting is very interesting, but I'm really more intrigued by your observations of London and France."

Juvenile Court

Boys in bandages.

'I want you to listen to me... I'm gonna say it just one time... I... did... not pull that Patty Willston's hair... it never happened!'