School Mission Advocate Mugs

"Congratulations, your funding request for the field trip has been approved."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Common Core Family Therapy

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

Another shot heard round the world.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

Highschool sign.

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Gold versus Knowledge

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Good writing is good thinking

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

'Education is very important. Let's go buy three liters of books so we can learn!'