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'No, no, you're looking for the school counselor. This is Guy Dance.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

Back to school.

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"Finally...school starts next week."

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

'Oh Rats! I can't be creative with a box of flat crayons!'

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'

New around here?

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

'I represent the Lilliput High School basketball team.'

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

'I thought you said you were taking me to Swan Lake?'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Classroom.

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

"Sure, Mom's eager to get us back to school, but she could have stopped the car!"

'I see you're still copying from other people's papers, Billy.'

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

Did I cheat? You're not wearing a wire, are you?

'You see! What did I tell you about this place?'

"MOM! Connor got all tangled up in his keychain lanyard again!"