School Commuting Parents Mugs

An evil snake coiled around a warning road sign for childrens crossing.

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Mother CareBaby Gap

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

'We need a dog!'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

'I couldn't find any box filler so I shredded those tax documents on your desk.'

"I think we need to spend more time with the children...how many have we got?"

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!

'Who's gonna stay here and do my homework?'

"You mind if I sit here and yammer on while my kid does whatever he wants?"

'I'll bet my luggage ends up at another hospital.'

'Sorry dear, I have to go straight to work tomorrow.'

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

"This is too much homework, Ms. Fraily. We're only allowed one carry-on on the bus."

"It's either "Bring your kid to work" day or it's "Drop of handbag in kindergarten" day today?"

Number of times your kids will wake in the night/Amount you have to do tomorrow

"We should decide now whose career will suffer more once I give birth."

Mom and child visit principal who has a sign on the door - Nap Time.

Wet Nursing Air Stewardess

"The bully at school keeps calling me a snowflake."

'It works better than the pacifier.'