School Antics Pillows

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

Teacher's pet dog

'It wasn't premeditated.

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'It was self-defense - the clock struck first.'

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

"So what's your definition of 'love'?"

"It was a professional hit..."

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

That's a silly question. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?'

"Why can I only cross 'right' or 'wrong'? What about 'I don't care', 'I don't give a damn' or 'How should I know'?"

"Tech support? I want to get my grades encrypted."

Calculator Jokes

'And there goes the school window...'

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

Student to mother: 'What a day. The health teacher left school sick, the debate team got expelled for fighting, the biology teacher dissected the school mascot, and the glee club, in general, went berserk.'

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

Paul Revere circa 3rd grade.

"What, eat your homework? Again?"

'Pillow fight!'

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

'Write an essay on what I did last summer? Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest?'

'I keep getting leadership mixed up with incitement.'

Police Training School.

'Oh, heavens no. I was merely speaking figuratively when I said that I wanted to break every bone in his body.'

"Is there anything I can do for extra credit, like give you money?"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'Typical of a boy - yesterday he wanted to marry me. . .'