Scary Story Collector Pillows

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Silence of the Chickens...

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Scary stuff

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

"Careful, Len. You'll spook the herd."

Who's Dead

The Bride of Frankenstein

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

"Did I like it? It frightened me to death! I had to close my eyes four times, my stomach is in knots, and I'll probably have nightmares for a week!... I loved it!"

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

"Don't miss a single word, Edgar. I am not going to dictate this poem again: once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary..."

'They say on stormy nights, you can still hear Goldie screaming.'

A frog catches an insect truck.

"There, there, dear. It's perfectly normal for a new bride on her wedding night to shit like a goose on her husband."

'You've become a right pain in the neck.'

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

A Ghost

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

'I don't care if you only need the eye. You'll have to buy the whole newt!'

Home Sweet Home

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

"My heart is in my throat every time you do this!"

Sea Angel

"Gentlemen, this is Mr. Griscom, Super Films' new horror expert."

Floods leave man and ghost stranded.

Two witches argue after crashing into each other