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I'm Peachy

Now serving

'We have 10 billion dollars sitting around. Let's give it to the country that calls the United States the most names.'

"I hope your day is going bad."

Mitt Romney 1040 Form: Income - Lots, everybody knows that. Do we really need to go into the details?

Blair, Brown, and a Mandelson snake.

'In lieu of a hearing my client would like a trial by the media.'

3 for 1 begging

"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

COWMIKAZES

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

God Bless America, God Help Syria

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

"It's the new man - he wants to know what the company retirement plan is."

How Moms explain.

CEO Bonus - 'Those in favor of my exhorbitant bonus say 'aye'. Those opposed say, 'Good heavens, I've been shot!'

NHS Suicide Counselling

"After a thousand years you may receive a questionnaire on the quality of my torture. So if for any reason you think you can't give me all tens, please let me know."

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

Politics pre - DJT

"We can't have Single Payer - what will people do without claim denials and endless hoops to jump through?"

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

"Be careful of what you say. The CEO is listening in."

"I'm not doubting that it does the job well. All I'm saying is that it might be a little more than is actually necessary."

'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'

Department de Philosophie

Tourists viewing fake giraffes on safari

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

Patient examines qualifications: Well Okay...go ahead.

'Well, my company can offer the best prices because we've got the lowest personnel expenses!'

We're going to have to let you go. Your job's been outsourced to a teenager with a laptop in India.