Sasquatch Prints

"Bigfoot"

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"Shred the plank."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

"I think contests are good, but instead of a "find the typos" contest, you should get someone to read your text."

'Your new book is full of mistakes: the critics will have a field day.'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

"The legend is true. Bigger Foot exists."

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

Myths and Other Urban Legends

The search for Bigfoot has a beakthrough.

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

"You knew I was a shark when you hired me, what did you expect?"

'I like the soothing squeaking of the dessert cart wheels better than any background music.'

"There's that squeak again."

Up please...

'for what we are about to receive...'

'That's actuall a medical condition. Besides, these days I prefer to be called Sasquatch.'

Squeaker Trophies

"At last - the lair of the Bigfoot!!"

"We should make it past the rocks by nightfall, provided our luck holds."

"For goodness sake, dear, it's only an electric bicycle."

Ask Me About My Big Feet

'I want some shoes that squeak.'

"I can't play squash tonight, Ed. I promised Linda I'd put in a little Kama Sutra time with her before the opera."

'Look here Frobisher, you've adhered to the rules. You haven't cheated, self-aggrandised or whined about money. That's rather unsportsmanlike of you.'

"I always feel like I'm missing something."

'Please give up badminton and take up squash or something.'

I didn't know you played squash, how about a game!