Sarcastic Work Buddy Prints

Bureau of the Damned

Do it yourself books.

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

'You always wanted a larger office with a view.'

"My appraisal says disappointing..." "But with a smiley face!"

Course 'Management Skills and Employee Motivation', 09 AM - 05 PM, No breaks!

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

Didn't we fire you last week?

"If you need me, I’ll be in the living room clawing the bejesus out of that Navajo rug you just picked up at auction."

'On second thought, he does do one thing around the house -- he cleans out the refrigerator.'

"I knew I should never have left you in charge of the rubber bands!"

I think that computer might be giving out a little too much heat... Energy efficient IT systems.

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.'

'That's four million, one hundred and eighty straight misses, Mr Fenson. Your shooting has gone all to hell.'

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

"See that yard with the garden gnomes and the idiot waxing his Nissan Cube? That's your bathroom."

Did you know that 3 to 4 glasses of wine a day can reduce your risk of giving a s**t. . . but you'll pee a lot more.

'It seems that my advice wasn't the only thing he could do without.'

It's too cold...the boss is a jerk...my feet hurt.

'Get me everything on scapegoats.'

'Sorry, dear, but upon advice from my attorney, I decline to give you an opinion on your Creamed Tarragon Flounder.'

Oh, for Pete's sake take some this medicine. You're useless, but at least it will make your COUGH more productive!

"You should have called me earlier."

#1 Jerk-off

"No, I didn't fake it last night. I really was asleep"

"Don't let the new boss catch you having a cigarette break...there's a rumour he watches his staff like a hawk!"

'I let Ed sleep through these meetings. His snoring keeps the others awake.'

'I'd prefer the banks were re-formed and Destiny's Child split up.'