Sales Strategy Savant Mugs

Butterfly Sales

Larry's used art

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Bullseye!

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

Sales.

Decision Making Block

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Brick Salesman

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Despite the economic downturn, sales are as good as ever.

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.

Gerald Ratner's return

'Sell South Africa!'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

Entertainment systems

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

Rudy, I've noticed your upsells have fallen drastically over the last 16 years. More and more, you just give customers what they ask for instead of pushing them to buy a larger cup, an extra cookie, or a 3-minute bathroom pass. That is unacceptable. So I've signed you up for my mandatory "How to Upsell" course and ordered you the reading material. Tuition fees will be deducted from your check. As your first lesson, I've upgraded you from the 2-week course to the 15-day one for just $50 extra. Ve

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'I say we try it.'