Salary Slip Scholar T-Shirts

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

"Have you been working out?"

"Must be another paradigm shift."

Wikipedia...

'Read that last part back to me.'

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

Petrarch

"He walked in, said he was a visiting scholar, and made himself at home."

Morton's pride was understandable. He was the first in the Pinhead Family to ever graduate.

The What's-The-Hurry? Institute

Brain Power

"What does it all mean?"

''Et cetera' implies that you know much more than you really do. . .'

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

"Question authority"

Francois Rabelais

Lowbrow Lolita

"You might have time left for one more book, but only if it doesn't require and lot of research."

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.

'Medieval Studies is going nowhere without a 5-year strategic plan.'

'I didn't exactly write the article, but...well, I didn't exactly do the research either.'