Salary Negotiator Gifts

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'Oh I can be reliable and for an extra three hundred a week, I can be efficient too.'

-I'm prepared to pay you more if you work hard. -I knew there'd be a catch.

'Look, O'Brien, you can't just waltz in here like that and demand a raise.'

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

"I deserve a raise.'

"I'd like to make $3.2 million a year, but I'll settle for $8 an hour."

"Not for what I'm getting paid!"

"The salary is excellent and the benefits are outstanding. So... which would you prefer?"

'Do you want a salary or benefits?'

'You need to be more persistent. Now, get out of here and keep coming back until you've worn me down.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'Yes?' (Boss has his feet up on the desk,the soles of the shoes spell 'NO'. He is addressing an employee)

'I demanded a raise. They moved my desk to the roof.'

'You get paid for what you produce at work not what you produce at home.'

'I'm expecting a big raise this year or, at the very least, to keep my job.'

'We were going to give you a job interview, until you mentioned that you actually wanted to get paid.'

Crew due Salary Review, Ballot, Quibble and Snub

Hug Your Boss (Use the Opportunity for the Power of Suggestion).

'I'm going to write a salary figure on this piece of paper. You tell me if it is acceptable or too high.'

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

Management buy-out.

'I should have asked for a bigger salary. They didn't even gasp.'

Just wanted to tell you that even though you've been very, very good Santa won't be coming this year...60 bucks an hour in the oil patch is just too hard for him to pass up.

'If you're not making six figures in five years, I wouldn't be at all surprised.'

'Please excuse us for laughing, but we've just noticed what you put down as your suggested starting salary.'

'No, Ed, you can't have a raise.'

'You're asking for another raise! Why you just had one in 1981.'

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'Gibson, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

'Don't keep complimenting them on their work, or before you know it they'll be asking for a rise.'

"Guess how long it's been since I've had a salary increase."

"I see you have a wife and six children. Do they all have to eat?"

'He asked for a raise.'