Safety Dodger T-Shirts

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

The Fast Lane.

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

The hall of bad ideas.

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

'I mean, how totally lame is this? Just as the marketing for our new video game was about to go viral, the Center for Disease Control shut us down!'

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

'I needed some relief from data overload.'

'The view is great, but sometimes you've got to hang out with the non-fliers.'

"Are you listening to me?"

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

"Caution! This tomato soup combined with our chicken noodle soup can form a lethal nerve gas."

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

"Yeah, almost didn't make it out of that one."