Rust Detective T-Shirts

'I'm checking for rust.'

I'm number one! I'm number one! 1 H Hydrogen. 26 Fe. 8 0. Hydrogen is number one, but it's a lightweight. My little buddy and I are a solid important element. We even have an age named after us - the "Iron Age"? But we need to watch out for H2O molecules. They give us a reddish-brown rash! Let's start calling them "Rusty"!

I'm checking for rust!

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

Micro and Macro Department,

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

'I hate it when EVERYONE is a whistle blower.'

Devil in the detail

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

Mouse with map exiting maze.

'The footprints in the cheesecake were inconclusive, but my DNA was all over the peanut butter pie.'

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

When pedants take a break.

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

Forward Planning - The key to Success

'Trust me, the deer have been here. I see tracks everywhere... and look! Fresh droppings!'

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

I'm sorry, sir, but the fact-checkers convention isn't until next week. Hotel.

Think Zero Defects

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'