Rulebook Nostalgics Prints

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

'That's not what is meant by a free kick.'

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

No hitting below the belt!

Legal? Big-shoed clown prepares to kick field goal.

"Offside? By a fingertip? It's football not handball!"

'You'll like it here...it's one of the rules.'

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

James Naismith

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

'Oh for Pete's sake. This ain't nuclear science, gentlemen. I'll read it one more time, but pay attention... 'the infield fly rule is in effect if there is less than two outs and runners on first and second'...'

"No Bald Games"

'By the time I finish explaining the rules, I've lost 'em.'

Attorneys at law.

Church in the year 2035.

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

'You're right, there's nothing in the rules against it.'

'That does it... Now I'm definitely going to become a lawyer.'