Rowdy Reveler Pillows

'And the crowd goes wild! In all the wrong ways.'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

"The last week of school is totally cool!"

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

Santana Claus

"To wealth, even if it's only on paper."

The Easter Bunny in August

'Hope 2010 is living up to your bubbly enthusiasm of last night and early this morning'

'Let's keep it simple -- stop serving me when you run out of beer.'

"It's great that you both enjoy live music, but who are you and how did you get in our garage?"

A man pushes a glitterball up a mountain

Warning! Magazines Stay in Waiting Room

'Here's your complimentary diaper, Sir.'

"Happy National Pride Month."

"A mighty fine cabernet, Zeke!"

Celebrate!

"Waiting is the worst part of Christmas...and the best part!"

'I don't care if he eagled with a great shot. I'm penalizing him a strok for excessive celebrating.'

'He's whooping it up again.'

Happy Anniversary

"This charge is for your monthly service fee and this charge is because you didn't have it."

'24 hour drinking... I'll drink to that!'

'And as a committed Royalist you'd be witnessing this historic event at Westminster Abbey.... or the King's Head.'

Sir Lancelot. Sir Rants-A-Lot.

'He's reached his limit with Government health advice.'

So glad you decided to come out!

'I see a labor union dispute coming.'

'We're gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

'Joe's Bar ... 24 Hour Drinking.'