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Stand-up Romcom

So Close..

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

'And after I'm through, our staff attorney will drop by to assist you with all the pre-nuptial agreement documents!'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"I think I should tell you, I'm CGI."

Strangers. friends. Lovers. Spouse.

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

"I knew I shouldn't of let you organise our beach wedding!"

His and Hers Wedding

Love Trap

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Romantic Cruises....except for cases of seasickness.

'I do...with reservations.'

'I wanted something special...not another candlelight dinner!'

'Yes, I'm nocturnal, or you could say, a certified daydreamer...'

'What's with the Thesaurus - trying to find a clinical term for love?'

"Do you promise to love, laugh and send cute pics of the cats even if you're just in the next room?"

OMG UR HOT

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."