Romantic Reckoner Pillows

"Yes, I guess I'm in the mood, but certain restrictions apply."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

Cosmonaut

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"This is fun. I'm usually kind of a loner."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Well, who's stupid idea was it to honeymoon on Moonlight bay?!"

Astronaut love

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

I’d like to declare my interest. In what? Commitment. Two kids and a dog. Commitment to kids and a dog? And to going for long walks on the beach, to gazing up at the stars, to growing old together … What? I thought you were talking about two kids. That sounds like eight. And why would only tow grow old together? What about the other six? Are you saying they'll grow old at different rates? ... Or are you saying the other six will meet some untimely fate and not grow old at all? Then she asked if

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

"What I mean is what do you do with yourself all day?"

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

The Loving Couple

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

Mate Mart

Love and temptation go hand in hand...

Single men in Tahiti

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

'Do you have anything cheap but guaranteed to help me get laid?'

"When we were dating it was all wine, soft lights, and candy. So nothing's changed really."

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

'-but I keep telling you-these things take time...'

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Happy Valentine's Day.

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."