Romantic Misadventure Chronicler T-Shirts

"Really sorry for going on about myself for so long, would you like to go on about me for a bit?"

Shepherd and eurydice

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Asking out a palm reader.

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

Advanced footsie

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

"Over here, Carol! I've found one with a caramel center!"

Barman In Love.

"For a normal sunset say 'one', for a romantic sunset say 'two', but first please give us your credit card details."

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Are we there yet, I love surprises.'

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"I see Charlie's really smitten with that pretty thing in the flower shop!"

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

Living with Ulrich, such an adrenaline high.

"Isn't this fun?"

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

Woman tries to catch a footballer.

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"