Romantic Investor Pillows

'Year to date, our relationship is up 2.3%.'

'It was love at first sight!'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Wall St. or True Love.

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

'Look, I want you back, but I'm not going to beg.'

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

Deconstructionist girlfriend

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

"So you're a poet? I don't get exposed to much poetry these days, unless you talk about the poetry of price-to-earnings ratios."

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

'And do you agree to share any downturn in the stock market with equanimity?'

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

"We'd like to take a majority position in your poetry."

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

'You certainly picked your moment to propose!'

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

At The Clown Bank.

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

'...assuming the numbers are right, ask her to marry you.'

Church Drive-Thru.

Valentine's roses $59.99- Feb.15th- $12.99.

Lovers' Leap

"My reasons for asking for a raise are wholly unselfish. I wish to marry your daughter!"

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

'Oh, Denise. I wish we had met when community property laws were more in favor of men.'

'I'm the bride's ex boyfriend. Before she says yes, can I just tell her that I've just won the lottery jackpot?!'

Second dates are trickier. They ask the same questions as on the first date, looking for inconsistencies.

Bookshop selling investment advice books.