Road Safety Critic Prints

How's my driving? Text me @555-3124

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Knights Wing Mirrors.

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Attention: Speed Troughs

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Deer crossing the road on a Skidoo.

Gas Pedal Sticking?

How Am I Driving?

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

'I'm afraid we need someone with a little more backbone for this position.'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

I threw my back out picking up the guidelines

"The soft, flexible, extendible bumper gently nudges the cyclist safely out of harm's way."

'No zebras as yet. . .but we have had two school kids and a lollipop lady!'

What if animals made roadside memorials?

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

"We ran out of salt for the roads, but we had plenty of pepper..."

How you can tell that the environmentalists won the elections...

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'

'Quick, turn the siren on!'

The Cone Ranger

Watch for Pedestrians.

"Pull over and check your phone" "Once more for good luck" "Maybe just another teensy look"

SmartphoneDumb Driver.

'Remember...No hexing and driving!'

The best safety device is a rearview mirror with a cop car in it.

'Cover me whilst I cross the road...'

"I hate to disappoint you son, but those giant craters you see isn't the moon, it's our street."

He suspected the driver's airbag was not functioning correctly.

The Red Cat: Lights/Red Cat Humour/Rhyme.

Watch Out Hedgehogs