Risk Managers Mugs

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

British savings accounts

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

Failure/Due Diligence

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"I don't like the look of this."

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'Crisis'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

William Tell's lesser-known first son- Stanislaus Tell.

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

Safety Barriers

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

"You've got one day to come up with something new and exciting yet safe and time tested."

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

"At last, a low-level panel!"

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.