Riff Rager Pillows

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

New music conference

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Teenage Angst.

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Musician plugged into amp.

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

My Musical Influences

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

Now entering new york city... move it, a*****e!

'Your Dad phoned earlier and told me that this is how he wanted it fixed.'

"Since when did my opinions become 'riffs'?"

Santana Claus

my boyfriend's a music producer...

Why do I always get stuck behind a slow driver when I'm already late?

"I'm just seeing if there's anything to be outraged at."

"Care to make it interesting?"

Think tank.

'Great! To top it all off, I've been put on hold!'

'You need to get your heart rate up once a day -- try listening to Limbaugh.'

"Noise? Noise?!! That was Bullet for my Valentine!"

God invents the guitar riff - "It should go...Dhrrr, Dhrr - Dhrrr! Dhirrh, Dhrr, Di - Hrr.."

"I'd like to see your driver's license AND your vessel certificate."