Rhythmical Raconteur Mugs

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

Non Thought For The Day.

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

"I'll need a three iron."

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

Max Beerbohm

How Platypuses Are Born

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

Social butterfly

How was your week on the lake? Twig fell in lo-love! Oh, tell me! Why did I say that? Now I'll never find out anything. Relax, momster. $20 and I can provide a full background report. Done! Boys are so communicative!

It Actually Happened 'My neighbour is always bragging about her Manx cat....

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

Brenda always had Safe sex

"And this is where I met your mum."

"I'm the writer, executive producer, and star of my fibs."

'Down on the farm!'

'It's a cheeky little wine!'

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'

'When did I first start rambling? Well, it's a long story...'

"My grant is somewhat restrictive. I have to work only with even numbers."

'Suspence, intrigue, deceit, vice...the annual report.'

Businessman As A Weather Vane

'Ok, ok. We'll run through it one more time. The rabbit pops up, goes round the tree ..'

'Well yes there was life before television but it didn't amount to much. . .'