Rhyme Analyst Prints

CONSPIRACY, INC: 'Right now we're looking for the cryptic message in E.I.E.I. O.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

How a poet works

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

Poetry repairman

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

Great Poets of Catalogdom

Shakespeare or Bacon or maybe Marlowe.

"I don't see how pulling out a piece of fruit from a pie necessarily validates Jack Horner's self-worth."

"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

"Never gets old: yes, 'See you in a while'..."

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

"Permission to speak in rhyming couplets, sir!"

'Major poets' 'Minor poets' 'Free agents'

'I really need to become a great poet while I still have time before I graduate.'

Forrest Gander

"Great news, babe. I'm on the fall schedule."

'You're a poet? I've got a great simile for you.'

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

"...rhyme...rhyme...rhyme..."

"It's for weird minds - they're not wired like mine...oh! I'm a poet and didn't know it!"

"Full...full..full... what the hell rhymes with bull?"

4 Rules For 'Serious' Poets

Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall, Below is a man with a boiling pot waiting for him to land in it, Man is licking is lips, he has napkin on and is holding a knife and fork,

"Apparently the little miss was last seen sitting on a tuffet. If only we knew what a tuffet was."

"Hop? Jig? Dance? You're a dancer? Sounds like? Prancer? Cancer? Cancer! I got cancer!"