Rheumatologist T-Shirts

"It's arthritis. Probably caused from clinging to life."

'The Gout'

"Well, the x-rays show you have a little arthritis in your hands, but mostly they're just poorly drawn."

"Then, my arthritis..."

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

Canine Companion

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Love a Mutt

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

Cling-On Dog

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

Dog lover

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"I hate it when we fight."

"He's already getting attached to you."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'I think he thinks I'm a pillow.'

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

Wilhelm Rontgen's first attempt at X-rays: shining a bright light through Madame Rontgen.

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'