Revolutionary Re-enactor Mugs

"How I deplore this senseless destruction of our historic landmarks!"

Remote control pirate bully

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Missing You.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"But I use all of them!"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

"The British are coming. Just sayin'."

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Knight school.

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

'Betsy Ross knitted it for me.'

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

"Whoever made fun of my hat better step forward now, or I'll turn this march around!"

'Well, it isn't all fun and games GUARDING this place, either, you know!'

Medieval Page Boy