Revolutionary Re-enactor Mugs

"How I deplore this senseless destruction of our historic landmarks!"

Remote control pirate bully

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Missing You.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"But I use all of them!"

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

"The British are coming. Just sayin'."

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

Knight school.

'Betsy Ross knitted it for me.'

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

'Well, it isn't all fun and games GUARDING this place, either, you know!'

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

Medieval Page Boy