Retirement Enthusiast Mugs

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'Look at you! Sitting there doing nothing - why don't you get a job like other pensioners?!'

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

"It isn't enough to feel sixty-five. You have to be sixty-five."

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

Doctors Retirement Home

'I took an early retirement - she took an early divorce.'

TONIGHT: LECTURE BY WISE MAN OF THE EAST, 'Just some retired old Geezer from New Jersey!'

"Well Bill, I've asked you in here to discuss any plans you may have for your retirement."

'If you're such a great estate planner, why aren't you retired?'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

I'm Retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"You're retired, I'm retired."

'Case dismissed! -- I just reached retirement age!'

'Well-hung is a necessity...now he's retired.'

'Are you sure you don't want to say something about staying active in the retirement years?'

'Laziness is over! I'm a pensioner now!'

'While you're wearing that smug ‘we don't have kids' look, who's paying into social security?'

"Reggie is retired, but he still goes to work to play the office sports pool."

"So, has Grandpa's 'longevity pay' kicked in yet?"

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

"The nerve of that woman! She's actually ENJOYING her retirement!"

"With the Jeter 2000, you'll never have to say goodbye."

'Whether I work in the public or private sector, save my retirement benefits.'

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

Don't hassle me, I'm retired.

"So how's retirement treating ya, Louie?"

Old Dog's Home

"I used to be a hunter and gatherer. But since retirement I'm mostly a drinker."

"Retired."

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

"He offered me early retirement,"

Diner.

The Missing Sock Returns

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"