Retail Specialist Pillows

'That? That's a store, hon. In the olden days people would buy things in stores instead of online.'

"I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper." "What's that?" "It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves." "I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything." "They say if you love your work, you never 'work' a day in your life." "To each his own, I guess." "I love everything about shopping. From the seductive 'OPEN' sign, to the supple checkout lines."

"And this unit, with it's automatically controlled universal remote, actually make eliminates the need for YOU."

Larry's used art

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

A women in a shoeshop.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

How Amazon was invented

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

D.I.Y

Sale.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'Let's send her a text message; 'You're FIRED!''

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"Where can I find the lefts?"

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"Everything's gone up."

Early on-line shopping