Retail Experience Critic Mugs

"They've done a great job bringing the neighborhood back to life! It used to be old chain stores with rude clerks and generic merchandise."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Everything's gone up."

"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

SupermarketAwful Market.

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

'Our giant sale now on!'

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

Rejected Spider-man lunchbox ideas

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

The economy doctor

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

"I've had a very trying day. I've tried on dresses, shoes..."

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

Awkward customers.

"I invented 'shopping' and I haven't seen my wife since."

"I increase my small pension by working as an expert on selling anti-incontinence products!"

'Brilliant idea, Simkins, the old price was actually higher than the present one!'

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

If you don't see what you want, we don't serve your kind here.

Empty shops.

"Profiling!"

"Hey - aren't you the owner of the store?"

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.