Resume Rewriters T-Shirts

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

Tweaking the CV.

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"Well, your CV certainly contains some very impressive name dropping."

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

'Have you got a resume?'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"I enjoyed your resume, young man - especially the hand-written addendum from your mom."

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

'Next time you want to cheat and use someone else's resume, I suggest you do more than scratch out his name and put yours above it.'