Resourceful Reader Pillows

"I'll read you a story but on condition that you convert and download my vinyl record collection onto this blasted thing."

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

'Pop-up Bible.'

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

"Usually when a person is stranded on an island, they make a grass hut. Apparently, you're more resourceful than that."

"If you don't have weights at home, try using canned food or the psychological burden of simply existing in this world!"

Pastoring for Dummies

Best Seller of All Times...The Holy Bible:'No fair. You're creating your own readers.'

A new species just discovered in the Softwood Forest...The TP tree.

'Management doesn't think we have a staffing problem...Apparently all we need to do is to use our imagination.'

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

"I see travel and romance. You'll be going away soon. I see a tall, dark stranger with many tattoos."

Stephen King

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

"We no longer shelve gay fiction separately. It's been assimilated."

A Blind Vampire using a bat as a guide.

'So, read any good book lately?'

'These baby teeth are a non-renewable resource rapidly being depleted and should bring more.'

"We're tolerably self sufficient. Alistair, for example, makes all our own petrol."

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

Old Mother Cupboard in Minnesota.

"You'd like a book on the meaning of life...fiction or nonfiction?"

Couldn't you just lend me a paper clip?

"That's ONE way of putting the office laminator to good use..."

'It's kind of depressing: We've spent three years on this research paper, and probably only ten people in the World will ever read it...'

'hello dear, I just got my new office and i think they're trying to tell me something.'

Caution falling books

"Due to budget cuts we had to combine our athletic fields."