Resolutions Realist Mugs

"I'm gonna sleep later, eat more junk food and continue my unreasonable fascination with cool cars."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"I hate this time of year."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"Now at this point reality intruded."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

Inbox and Outbox

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

'Management doesn't think we have a staffing problem...Apparently all we need to do is to use our imagination.'

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

New Years Reolutions

The Dungeon

Wild Animal Park. How are the animals doing with their new year's resolutions? Good! The gazelle is trying to slow down and enjoy life, and the sloth is exercising more! What's the goat's resolution? To be more careful about what he eats? No, he just wants to spend more time with the kids this year. I heard the doe made a resolution to save some money. You misunderstood, Ernie. She didn't make any resolutions for herself. Her goal this year is to convince the male members of her specie

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

Dear Diary...Resolutions

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"