Research Scientist Pillows

"It's fine to discover cures, but, remember, chronic conditions are our bread and butter."

'I will not mix chemicals unless I know what they are.'

'Other days you can hear a pin drop.'

'Sequencing? No, this baby tells us how much we can charge for genome data.'

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

'What happens in R&D stays in R&D.'

Researcher to partner: 'We spent 10 million dollars for a pill that melts in your mouth, not in your hand.'

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

"It's not you-it's me."

'If we just perfect the self-driving car, we can build the entire interior around distracting communication and entertainment gadgets!'

Vaccine nationalism

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

GPS Systems.

'It's a model to study stress...these mice all have long commutes, dead end jobs and out of control kids.'

"Yes, the company is heavily into R&D... rust and decay!"

"The world has run out of magnesium!"

"All those in favor of adding another 5 billion organisms to our probiotic just for the fun of it..."

Black Hole Research Institute has no outbox.

'Ah, Dr. Mecklenburg, noted research scientist, we meet again.'

"R&D really created a miracle drug this time...at least it's been miraculous for our bottom line!"

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

'This underground facility allows us to be closely involved with proton decay,,,and grow mushrooms,'

Christmas was one of the few times of the year that Rodney was able to take advantage of working for the genetic research laboratory.

Stem Cell Research and Ethics

"You should start taking probiotics now, before we discover that they don't make any difference."

"Now, just ignore all those sticky things and wires and try to relax. This sleep study only works if you sleep. Please don't waste my time."

Mice in animal research laboratory on protest

'Do you realize that this is the sixth 'new and improved version' of our detergent and now we're back to our original formulation?'

Zika Funding