Reproduction Raconteur T-Shirts

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"I had half a date last weekend."

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

Dad said that if he's paying for the wedding, he's entitled to a little something.

'He's still on a tether from his incarceration, but one day he hopes to go wireless.'

'I guess I shouldn't have expected too much. Martin was a floor model.'

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

Social butterfly

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

How Platypuses Are Born

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

"So when you said you were a bee keeper..."

"The lack of perspective kills me..."

The world's oldest braided rug

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

"Great, but how is he in bed?"

"I can't remember if I didn't like his second book or his second wife."

Brenda always had Safe sex

Every wife's dream conversation.

"Aside from Domino’s, China Palace and Lupe’s Fiesta Garden, do you have any professional references?"

Home, Bittersweet Home.

'There's a NAGGING blog?'