Report Card Rationalizer Pillows

"It's good for you. It has lots of vitamin D."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

'Mistakes were made...'

At the Penguin fishing school: 'Gunvald has set the bar kind of high, gang!'

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

'Straight A's. That means good.'

"I'm the victim of negative advertising."

'So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?'

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

"It may not be a good report card but I'm working with the genes you dealt me."

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'

'I'm the smartest one in the bottom group.'

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

'Why are you being a discipline problem at school, turd?'