Reluctant Introspector Prints

Telling Self to Buzz Off

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"You'll be pleased to know you haven't got any homework this evening."

"What did I learn in school today...I learned I don't like school!"

"I'd get back in there if I were you mate."

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

Seagulls attacking Picnicker in Formation

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

"Digital? We're not even cable ready!"

'I'm going, but if school didn't have a 'Kids Get In Free' policy...'

That Socrates was an idiot. Not only is the unexamined life worth living, but there's more time to enjoy it without all that stupid introspection.

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

"Do I want the job? Huh, I never thought about it like that."

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

"I'm fine. I want you to tell me how to change everyone else."

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

Do you think it's too late for me to go to law school and position myself for an appointment to the Supreme Court? Yes, unfortunately. You'd have to go back in time and start preparing early. By that I mean WAY back. As in you'd have to ensure that the cells that formed you had genes that would give you intellectual curiosity, above-average intelligence, and ambition. But you do still have time to become a layabout. You seem to have prepared very well for that. What? You'd still get to wear a ro

'Bloody Climbing Experience Gifts. Bloody grand children. Why couldn't they have given me a pair of slippers!'

'I hate flying. Thank God for terra firma ... or terra mushy ...'

"I didn't hear Bill Clinton say it was time for me to change."

Armstrong, I've worked here for a long time and I think I deserve a raise. How about it? I'll give you an Indian Ocean raise, minion. How does an Indian Ocean raise of $2 an hour sound? Fun fact: The Indiana Ocean's on the opposite side of the world, so its "up" is our "down." I don't think that's how "up" works, boss. "Relativity" is just a theory.

Parents of student:'Shh George is revising!'