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Nativity: Saviour on Board

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Holy Bible

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

Book

"How long has he been missing?"

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Pastoring for Dummies

'But everybody does that stuff!'

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

"Do you have a minute to talk about God?"

"Consititutionally there's no bar to marriage. I'm C. of E."

"Due to a breakdown in communication, 'Nilla Wafers' will be used for the communion service."

Amish man looking at 'living in sin' greetings cards.

"I think I know why you've been so stuffed-up lately."

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."

'You realize, these are going to lead to a lot of hypocrisy.'

"Ok, this is awkward."

'Satan wants to meet you on Main Street at high noon.'